First, they called our tacos and burritos "Mexican-style sandwiches," and I said nothing, as I was neither a taco nor a burrito. Admittedly, I was also confused about the language used "Mexican-style sandwich?"

But I feel strongly that the Ohio Supreme Court has overstepped its judiciary bounds by declaring boneless wings can have bones in a 4-5 decision last week. Keep bans off our bodies and bones out of our boneless!

The ruling comes from a suit brought against Wings on Brookwood in Hamilton, Ohio, after patron Michael Berkheimer consumed his usual order of boneless wings with parmesan garlic sauce. Michael felt slight discomfort while eating but thought little of it until days later when he was taken to the emergency room, where it was discovered that the "boneless wing" he had consumed had torn his esophagus, causing an infection.

Thankfully, there are still good common-sense folk on Ohio's Supreme Court, like Justice Michael P. Donnelly, who called the ruling "utter jabberwocky" and referenced parents of young children who put their faith in menus that list items like nuggets, tenders, and boneless wings, expecting them not to have any possible choking hazards in the way of bones.

Unfortunately, the wise Justice Donnelly was opposed by Justice Joseph T. Deters, who invoked the chicken finger defense, writing for the majority, "A diner reading 'boneless wings' on a menu would no more believe that the restaurant was warranting the absence of bones in the items than believe that the items were made from chicken wings, just as a person eating 'chicken fingers' would know that he had not been served fingers." Touché, Deters. Bold move to bring fingers into the fight. However, while I am fairly certain patron Michael Berkheimer is at least generally aware that chickens do have bones and do not have fingers, the expectation of "boneless" items remains.

Alas, as the ruling has reached the highest levels of the state of Ohio, we must now read menus with extreme caution moving forward. Be on high alert when ordering any Ants on a Log, Monkey Bread, or Puppy Chow. And always, always make sure to ask some follow-up questions if you are considering The Spotted Dick