I have called magnet fishermen murderous weirdos, white trash treasure hunters, and pole perverts. Okay, I might not have said ALL of those things, but I certainly have thought all those things. Hand up, my bad magnets, I was sleeping on your potential.

A Queens couple, James Kane and Barbie Agostini, who have been magnet fishing since picking it up as a pandemic hobby and started sharing their catches on social media, were treated to their biggest catch to date on Friday when they hauled up a safe containing what they estimate is over $100,000.

The big catch prompted them to contact the NYPD, who confirmed they would not need to turn the safe in due to the value and authenticity of the bills not being determinable. Kane and Agostini shared that they plan to redeem the money through the Bureau of Engraving and Printing, who might be able to restore a portion of the currency. They hope the value can be used on new equipment and a vehicle to improve their content and social media presence.

Wait a goddamn second here. Upon further review of the article, I return to my previously held position. I am once again dubious of magnet fishermen and women (shoutout Barbie). If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it might just be a social media influencer scam designed to gain notoriety. This 'catch' made it to the AP, USA Today, The Post, and all articles make no less than three mentions of the couple's social media presence, prompting me to think this is a 'look at me' scam akin to Milli Vanilli, Jussie Smollett, or Juwanna Man.

James Kane and Barbie Agostini are spinsters and frauds who planted and captured a bunch of muddy phony money and ran to the papers to grow their following. Disgusting, if you ask me. But please like and share this blog because there is a saber-toothed tiger buried behind my apartment that I am currently unearthing, and I will share pics here. Thanks!