Yesterday, September 4th, Jim Dreyer, who calls himself “The Shark,” abandoned his quest to cross Lake Michigan. This came just two days after he posted the Whitesnake power ballad “Here I Go Again,” announcing he would be attempting to cross Lake Michigan. It’s also 28 days after he had abandoned his previous attempt to cross Lake Michigan. The latest failure makes it four failed attempts in the past year, begging the question: What the hell is wrong with this guy?

In 1998, Dreyer successfully crossed the lake, starting in Two Rivers, Wisconsin, and finishing in Ludington, Michigan. Since then, however, his many public attempts have ended in either rescue or abandonment.

Jim “The Shark” Dreyer made his latest attempt yesterday. After 40 hours in the water, he posted that he was safe and added, “I promise, I wasn’t drunk,” which is exactly what someone who gave themselves the nickname “The Shark” and listens to Whitesnake would say if they were, in fact, drunk.

I have never crossed Lake Michigan, so I cannot speak to the rush Dreyer must have felt in 1998. But I can surmise that adding 26 years of age and only four new Whitesnake albums hasn’t improved his chances.

Addiction is a funny thing. Some people find the needle, others pick up the bottle, and some, well, they feel the need to cross the “Graveyard of The Great Lakes.” If we cannot stop the self-proclaimed ultraswimmer, I propose that we at least stop covering these attempts in the press and no longer let him call himself “The Shark.”