Kirky Gets the Aux
Happy 36th Birthday to Kirk Cousins! As a sign of respect or maybe to make it up to him for drafting a QB with the eighth pick a month after signing him, the Atlanta Falcons organization today bestowed one of football's highest honors: The Aux Cable. Let's take a look at the 4-time Pro Bowl quarterback's playlist as shared by The Atlanta Falcons.
Pretty standard stuff for a 36-year-old white guy from Barrington, Illinois. Featuring a slew of alternative radio staples from the last decade Kirk was probably listening to music. Let's break them down in order and try to gauge a sense of what practice was like and how Kirk and the team were feeling.
"Don't write yourself off yet..." The song starts up in the stretch circle and Kirk smiles at his teammates, all who are aware that Michael Penix was picked at number eight and the 36-year-old is coming off an Achilles tear.
Move Along - All American Rejects
The theme remains on the next track. Kirk bops along to the chorus about keeping it strong and moving along.
Individual groups are starting to break out and it's time to rock! Kirk is turning it up with the hardest stuff he has ever heard. Green Day!!!
Stacy's Mom - Fountains of Wayne
Practice is now in full swing and Kirk is worried about his image after a couple of him-focused songs about doing the work. And, of course, after the head-banging anthem from Green Day, the 36-year-old wants to let the locker room know he can still be a bit silly. Boom! Stacy's Mom - everyone is laughing and breaking out in conversations about the "hot mom" growing up. Kirk surveys the scene with a smile. Mission accomplished.
All The Small Things - Blink 182
As a pro's pro, Kirk knows that winning is really in the details. What's a better way to say that than by making it very apparent and letting his offense know that it really is about "All The Small Things"?
All right, practice is moving along quite nicely. Time for some classic mood music. Something that rocks hard and has an edge, 2003's People's Choice Award winner "The Anthem."
Okay, time to show the team a bit of his soft side. After all the jokes (Stacy's Mom), the attention to detail (All The Small Things), and what Kirk considers to be a nu-metal classic (The Anthem), Mr. Cousins is willing to bare his soul with Mr. Brightside.
Stereo Hearts - Gym Class Heroes
Oh no, Kirk realizes. The majority of his songs have been all honky sing-along radio. He's going to need to play something for the brothers and something fast. He spins the click wheel to his least frequented genre and puts on the hardest hip-hop he's got... Gym Class Heroes.
Okay, everyone is now feeling the scene and absolutely rocking by all of Kirk's calculations, so now it's time to set some expectations.
Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous - Good Charlotte
It's no secret in this locker room or any other that Kirk Cousins is almost a half-billion-dollar man. So why not have some fun with it?
Sugar, We're Going Down - Fall Out Boy
Offense is doing its thing and Kirk is feeling great as he's getting passes out. Time to remind the team about their fight... "Sugar, we're going down swinging!" Kirk yells out after Ray-Ray McCloud quits on an out route.
Dirty Little Secret - The All-American Rejects
Kirk has run three plays to former first-round pick Kyle Pitts, whose first three years in the league did not see the production expected from the Florida standout. Kirk winks at him as the chorus plays. Pitts will be his dirty little secret. After all tight ends he has played with have received 27% of his targets.
The playlist closes out with the career songs Kirk feels the closest to. This Love reminds him of football. It's taken its toll on him, and at 36 on his third team, he doesn't want to say goodbye anymore...
Somebody Told Me - The Killers
Kirk makes eye contact with Michael Penix across the field. He can't help but feel a bit betrayed by the Falcons front office. Much like The Killers' Brandon Flowers, Kirk never thought he'd let a rumor ruin his moonlight, but with the 8th pick, the Falcons did.
Dear Maria, Count Me In - All Time Low
Alright, enough feeling sorry for himself. Kirk wants the team to know they can count him in.
They can still call him their Superman...
Practice is wrapping up. Kirk walks among his new teammates, slapping hands and grooving along to Yellowcard. He is happy. And he should be - he is very wealthy, has a great family, and the Falcons gave him the aux cord. At least today, he got to play.
Happy Birthday Kirk! I am sure you loved getting a chance to share your playlist with the lads. I think the NFC South is going to be a sneaky tough division, but I am rooting for you as an all-time bag getter, Kohl's cash enthusiast, and seemingly just a good guy.